The Musings of Morgan Rie

In case you haven't read about my recent medical issues regarding my metabolic levels, you can  here . Yesterday, I was finally able to get in for a heart ultrasound. Everything came back perfectly normal, which was both frustrating and a relief. The low potassium levels I've been experiencing haven't done any lasting damage to my heart, but we still have no idea why I'm still having intense chest pain and palpitations. I almost wish that something small did show up just so I could get some answers. I feel awful saying that, but I'm just so frustrated with the lack of options for me right now and want this to be solved. Luckily, there's still hope that they can figure something out from the heart monitor I'll wear for 24 hours. Unfortunately, I'm not able to get one until February, so we'll see if the issue has solved itself by then and I'm just wasting money ( ah, the American healthcare system, don't you love it? ). The fatigue has been rou...

Now that I am to be taking potassium, magnesium, and iron prescriptions for the rest of the foreseeable future, I've been having a lot of mixed feelings about adding these to my weekly pillbox. I already have meds for anxiety, ADHD, and insomnia. I am fine with taking them all, they help me of course, but it can be such a hassle to keep track of everything's dosages, effects, and schedules. --- What’s one more pill? One more thing to swallow. What difference does it make? Add it to my list of things to take. I already  take so many. I already take so many . It doesn’t make a difference, don't make a scene. What if I don’t want my days planned around my pill-popping routine? What’s one more pill? One more thing to swallow.

I recently learned about the #NEISvoid on Twitter, a hashtag for people with chronic health problems and/or disabilities to post under. It stands for “No End In Sight” It's full of everything from venting about doctors (such as in my last post ), mutual aid requests, and tips for managing chronic fatigue. I had seen the tag before, but up until now, I had never wondered what it stood for. I often saw it accompanying the DisabilityTwitter tag, which I occasionally use, so I assumed it had something to do with disability. After writing the above section of this post, I took a break. I then got a call from my doctor, who ordered me a heart ultrasound and a heart monitor that I’ll need to wear for 24 hours. The soonest available appointment was January 4th, and for only the ultrasound. My heart monitor won’t be available until February. They can’t give me a date for when analysis of both of these will be done. It seems to be that I have officially entered the NEISvoid. I’m hoping to f...

Having a mysterious illness is so exhausting, both from the fatigue caused by the illness, and the burnout from all the medical appointments and emergency visits. The emergency visits are especially awful because every twelve hours is a new on-call doctor. I've been to the ER three times in the last two weeks, and I've never had a repeat doctor. I have to recount my entire medical history each time, and explain all the testing and results from the last time I was in. The three doctors I've seen in these visits have all focused on different aspects of the issues I'm having as well, the one tonight completely ignoring my main concern. BELIEVE PATIENTS! I shouldn't have to say that, but just because you've never seen someone show symptoms of low potassium or magnesium before it is extreme, doesn't mean it doesn't happen! I can tell when my potassium is low just by the way I feel! My doctor tonight simply shrugged off my intense chest pain, lightheadedness, ...

 2021 was the most unexpected year of my life, but I could not be more grateful that it happened, every last bit of it. It began with me getting Covid in January, most likely from one of the toddlers I worked with at my awful daycare job. Looking back, I thought that was the sickest I would ever be. Ah, the naivete of January. The year had only just begun. In late March, I found out I was pregnant. The morning sickness hit me almost immediately, and I was throwing up every single day. For most people, this only lasts for the first 12 weeks or so. I was still sick at 18 weeks. I missed the last two months of my senior year. I called in sick to work almost every day until I was eventually fired (the day I was going to put in my notice, of course. My boss beat me to it, oh well). I was able to graduate, though I was fighting morning sickness as I walked across the stage and received my diploma. No scenes were made, thankfully. In mid-June, I finally acknowledged that I was pregnant, a...