The Musings of Morgan Rie

I've reached a dead-end in my manuscript. It's taking all my self-control to not delete everything from embarrassment. I spoke about this a bit in my last  post , fear is my biggest weakness. The beauty  (sarcasm) of being a former "gifted kid" is the intense fear of failure. Growing up, I excelled at everything I tried, and I did so immediately . My self-esteem was built on this success, this ability to be exceptional at anything I wanted. Unfortunately, once I began high school, and was able to take classes that would actually challenge me, I broke down. I couldn’t cope with my failures. (Getting a C on one math chapter.) Though I have made some progress in coping with this academically, I still struggle to maintain hobbies. I have abandoned Instagram accounts for drawing, collage journaling, and my dog. I am currently in the middle of seven different books, and it’s been months since I’ve moved the bookmarks in most of them. My bedroom is full of embroidery, callig...

Having a mysterious illness is so exhausting, both from the fatigue caused by the illness, and the burnout from all the medical appointments and emergency visits. The emergency visits are especially awful because every twelve hours is a new on-call doctor. I've been to the ER three times in the last two weeks, and I've never had a repeat doctor. I have to recount my entire medical history each time, and explain all the testing and results from the last time I was in. The three doctors I've seen in these visits have all focused on different aspects of the issues I'm having as well, the one tonight completely ignoring my main concern. BELIEVE PATIENTS! I shouldn't have to say that, but just because you've never seen someone show symptoms of low potassium or magnesium before it is extreme, doesn't mean it doesn't happen! I can tell when my potassium is low just by the way I feel! My doctor tonight simply shrugged off my intense chest pain, lightheadedness, ...