The Musings of Morgan Rie

Gender is a social construct, but this doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I view it similar to the concept of Time. Humans invented it as a construct to help us navigate our world and explain things in a near-universal manner. However, just because one knows that time "doesn't exist" (ie is a social construct), doesn't mean they can go around saying things like "I'll meet you at the train station in 3 zip-zaps" and expect people to understand what they mean. One still must use terms relative to the generally accepted and understood meanings and concepts of time. When it comes to gender, sure, the gender binary doesn't "exist," but in order to explain and understand our current conception of gender and our experiences within the gender spectrum, we must still use terms relative to the commonly acknowledged nuances of gender if one wants to help others understand their gender identity, as well as internally understand one's own in rel...

Someone recently asked me if I've ever been in love. "Twice," I responded. I lied. It had been three times, but I don't like talking or even thinking, about the second time. [sitting down to write this, I realize I still can't talk about it.] Coming back to this weeks later, I've decided that that second time doesn't count. I was manipulated, and I can't say much else. I don't want to anyway. I am only coming back to this post to talk about my most recent journey towards love. I've always been the one to say it first, and recently, it's been refreshing to hear my partner say it to me. I was relieved, I had wanted to say it for a while, but was afraid it was too soon, I didn't want to scare them off. Hell, I was a little scared myself of how fast I had fallen for them, but it sure felt amazing. I'm a hopeless romantic, and also a hopeless R omantic. Maybe I'm just in love with being in love, but either way, I'm happy with my ...

I've reached a dead-end in my manuscript. It's taking all my self-control to not delete everything from embarrassment. I spoke about this a bit in my last  post , fear is my biggest weakness. The beauty  (sarcasm) of being a former "gifted kid" is the intense fear of failure. Growing up, I excelled at everything I tried, and I did so immediately . My self-esteem was built on this success, this ability to be exceptional at anything I wanted. Unfortunately, once I began high school, and was able to take classes that would actually challenge me, I broke down. I couldn’t cope with my failures. (Getting a C on one math chapter.) Though I have made some progress in coping with this academically, I still struggle to maintain hobbies. I have abandoned Instagram accounts for drawing, collage journaling, and my dog. I am currently in the middle of seven different books, and it’s been months since I’ve moved the bookmarks in most of them. My bedroom is full of embroidery, callig...

In case you haven't read about my recent medical issues regarding my metabolic levels, you can  here . Yesterday, I was finally able to get in for a heart ultrasound. Everything came back perfectly normal, which was both frustrating and a relief. The low potassium levels I've been experiencing haven't done any lasting damage to my heart, but we still have no idea why I'm still having intense chest pain and palpitations. I almost wish that something small did show up just so I could get some answers. I feel awful saying that, but I'm just so frustrated with the lack of options for me right now and want this to be solved. Luckily, there's still hope that they can figure something out from the heart monitor I'll wear for 24 hours. Unfortunately, I'm not able to get one until February, so we'll see if the issue has solved itself by then and I'm just wasting money ( ah, the American healthcare system, don't you love it? ). The fatigue has been rou...

First off, this is my very first monthly post since joining the  Insecure Writer's Support Group , and I'm excited to be a part of it and respond to prompts! I would also like to apologize for not posting for a while, I have been spending extra time with family before I move out this coming weekend. The IWSG prompt this month was "What's the one thing about your writing career you regret the most? Were you able to overcome it?" This is a rather simple answer for me. I regret not having started sooner; if I had actually kept my childhood notebooks filled with stories (which I now only have vague memories of), I would have so much more stuff I could share with people. Instead, I'm just a broke college student with a laptop and some dreams, revising their old Notes App poetry to post online. Unfortunately, I don't think this is something I can "overcome" I can't change the past, but I can look towards the future and commit to keeping my ideas in...